Sleeper Identification

Here's a repost of something I wrote in the Big Block group in 2000,
since Patrick brought up the word "sleeper". Perhaps some of the old
timers here will get a grin:

15 Tips for Sizing Up the Street Sleeper

1. Caked-on dirt covering tire brand on sidewalls:
Sneaky - Goodyear or Firestone
Sneakier - repro Pro Tracs
Uh-oh - M&H Racemaster

2. Wheels of choice:
Sneaky: Stock-looking steelies and dog-dish caps.
Sneakier: Slotted aluminum mags that haven't been cleaned in 25
years.
Uh-oh: Stock-looking steelies that don't attract a magnet.

3. Exhaust system:
Sneaky: 2 1/2 inch mandrel bent tubes with only one tip below rear
bumper.
Sneakier: 3 inch stainless tubing ending before rear axle.
Uh-oh: 3 inch stainless tubing painted light brown to simulate road
dirt.

4. Front end:
Sneaky: Dented hood and rusty fenders.
Sneakier: Front clip off a different color car.
Uh-oh: Hood and fenders that don't attract a magnet either.

5. Air induction:
Sneaky: Non-functional scoop bondo'd to hood and left unpainted.
Sneakier: Under-bumper Ram Air stolen from W-30 Olds at car show.
Uh-oh: Nascar air box sealed to cowl plenum.

6. Gas tank:
Sneaky: Painted white to keep fuel cool.
Sneakier: Trick fuel cell inside stock tank.
Uh-oh: Corroded green steel drum in trunk with twin pumps and faded
HazMat labels.

7. Tacky distraction on back of car:
Sneaky: Homemade Pro Mod wing.
Sneakier: Continental kit stolen from '57 Mercury at car show.
Uh-oh: Continental kit pops open to deploy Deist parachute.

8. Traction aid:
Sneaky: 8-leaf springs and adjustable pinion snubber.
Sneakier: Cal-Trac bars painted light brown to simulate road dirt.
Uh-oh: 7-foot torque arm anchored to floor under front seat.

9. Windows:
Sneaky: Lots of chips, cracks, and unidentifiable bugs.
Sneakier: Purple tint hides sheetmetal dash and liquid-filled gauges.
Uh-oh: Stiff breeze flexes windshield in a half inch.

10. Paint job:
Sneaky: Lacquer-based, skillfully applied with spray cans from
Sears.
Sneakier: Water-based, skillfully applied with rollers from Home
Depot.
Uh-oh: Cloudburst dissolves water-based paint, revealing "NHRA
Record Holder - 1968" on both rear quarter panels.

11. Engine management:
Sneaky: No tach; hi-beam indicator converted to shift point light.
Sneakier: AM radio face converted to tachometer.
Uh-oh: MSD box converted to give driver electric shock at 8500 rpm.

12. Shifter:
Sneaky: Auto shifter on the column, ratchet shifter on floor.
Sneakier: Auto shifter on the column, 4 speed shifter on floor.
Uh-oh: Auto shifter on the column, Lenco Batch o' Levers on floor.

13. Steering wheel:
Sneaky: Split, worn original wheel with horn button missing.
Sneakier: Low rider chain wheel with Cheech Marin signature horn
button.
Uh-oh: Butterfly drag wheel with picture of John Force taped to
center.

14. Tacky interior distraction:
Sneaky: Fuzzy dice hanging from rear view mirror.
Sneakier: Shrunken head hanging from rear view mirror.
Uh-oh: Platinum Summit charge card hanging from rear view mirror.

15. Driver's mental competence:
Sneaky: Listens to Barry Manilow on slide-out 8-track player before
race.
Sneakier: Calls mom on cell phone to check on laundry status before
race.
Uh-oh: Chucks 8-track player and cell phone out window, hooks up
nitrous line to crash helmet before race.

--
CobraJet
Thunder Snake #1