Ford OEM Keychain

and cook down a bit.
Add some lemon juice and some zest, then de-glaze with stock.
Add a little cornstarch (dissolved in cold water) to the sauce.
You are just about there, Pour the sauce over the cutlets,
top with parsley, lemon slices and cracked pepper.
Serve with spinach salad, macaroni and cheese (homemade) and iced tea...



Spaghetti with Real Italian Meatballs

If you don?t have an expendable bambino on hand,
you can use a pound of ground pork instead.
The secret to great meatballs, is to use very lean meat.

1 lb. ground flesh; human or pork
3 lb. ground beef
1 cup finely chopped onions
7 - 12 cloves garlic
1 cup seasoned bread crumbs
½ cup milk, 2 eggs
Oregano
basil
salt
pepper
Italian seasoning, etc.
Tomato gravy (see index)
Fresh or at least freshly cooked spaghetti or other pasta

Mix the ground meats together in a large bowl,
then mix each of the other ingredients.
Make balls about the size of a baby?s fist
(there should be one lying around for reference).
Bake at 400°for about 25 minutes -
or you could fry them in olive oil.
Place the meatballs in the tomato gravy, and simmer for several hours.
Serve on spaghetti.
Accompany with green salad, garlic bread and red wine.



Newborn Parmesan

This classic Sicilian cuisine can easily be turned into Eggplant Parmesan
If you are planning a vegetarian meal. Or you could just as well use veal -
after all, you have to be careful - Sicilians are touchy about their young
family members...

6 newborn or veal cutlets
Tomato gravy (see index)
4 cups mozzarella, 1cup parmesan, 1cup romano
Seasoned bread crumbs mixed with
parmesan
romano
salt
pepper
oregano
garlic powder
chopped parsley
Flour
eggwash (eggs and milk)
Peanut oil for frying.

Pound the

cabbage leaves
1 lb. lean ground newborn human filets, or ground chuck
Onions
peppers
celery
garlic
soy sauce
salt pepper, etc
Olive oil
breadcrumbs
Tomato Gravy (see index)

Boil the cabbage leaves for 2 minutes to soften.
In skillet, brown the meat in a little olive oil,
then add onions, peppers, and celery (all chopped finely)
and season well.
Place in a large bowl and cool.
Add seasoned breadcrumbs and a little of the tomato gravy,
enough to make the mixture pliable.
Divide the stuffing among the cabbage leaves then roll.
Place seam down in a baking pan.
Ladle tomato gravy on top,
and bake at 325° for 30 - 45 minutes.



Umbilical Cordon Bleu

Nothing is so beautiful as the bond between mother and child,
so why not consume it?
Children or chicken breasts will work wonderfully also.

4 whole umbilical chords (or baby breasts, or chicken breasts)
4 thin slices of smoked ham, and Gruyere cheese
Flour
eggwash (milk and eggs)
seasoned bread crumbs
1 onion
minced
salt
pepper
butter
olive oil

Pound the breasts flat (parboil first if using umbilical
cords so they won?t be tough).
Place a slice of ham and cheese on each, along with some minced onion
then fold in half, trimming neatly.
Dredge in flour, eggwash, then seasoned breadcrumbs;

Harley's are nice tinker toys. Fun to look at, not overly complicated to
work on, however, way over priced since the early 70's. I have been
eye-balling Victory's. Nice styling, decent price, American made.
My present bike is an oddity. It's a Honda CB 900 Custom, air shocks
front and rear, dual disk brakes, shaft drive, 5 speed gear box, and a 2
speed sub transmission ( a total of 10 forward gears ), top end around 160+
for as long as you want to hold it.
Bloody thing is a nightmare to work on with 16 valves and enough horse
power to launch out from under a guy if he's not careful....but it sure is
fun to ride.
It's presently down for a cam chain and valve work.


"Jim Warman" > wrote in message
news:s2lzd.27667$dv1.20160@edtnps89...
| Heading for 55..... not too old to ride the Harley...
|
|
| "John Riggs" > wrote in message
| ...
| > Yup, just had my 48th on the 23rd....so you ain't all that old.
| > ...and careful with that mistletoe, it'll get ya into trouble.
| >
| >
| > "Jim Warman" > wrote in message
| > news:Irbzd.13848$nN6.666@edtnps84...
| > | That may be.... but I'm told that I'm at least as old as dirt. I am
| > indeed
| > | old enough to know better, but at least I'm young enough to do it
| > again....
| > |
| > | All the best to you and yours in this holiday, John. Thanx for the
| > card....
| > | ya make an old guy glad.
| > |
| > |
| > | "John Riggs" > wrote in message
| > | ...
| > | > At least you don't hold the patent on dirt....besides, how old
can
| > you
| > | > be anyway?
| > | >
| > | > Merry Christmas to you and yours, Mr Jim
| > | >
| > | >
| > | > "Jim Warman" > wrote in message
| > | > news:Fs4zd.11364$uj2.2382@clgrps12...
| > | > |I went black powder shooting 4 or 5 times backs in the '70s -
meaning
| > I
| > | > | learned "gewgaw" in ordinary life rather than in black powder.
Most
| > | > everyone
| > | > | at work is much younger than I..... Being the oldest person in the
| > | > building
| > | > | and having a decent sense of humour has me creditted with
inventing
| > | > things
| > | > | like muzzle loaders, electricity and such as well as the odd dig
| > about
| > | > doing
| > | > | warranty repairs on the Model A 8^)
| > | > |
| > | > |
| > | > |
| > | > |
| > | >
| > | >
| > |
| > |
| >
| >
|
|

John Riggs > wrote:

> My present bike is an oddity. It's a Honda CB 900 Custom, air shocks
> front and rear, dual disk brakes, shaft drive, 5 speed gear box, and a 2
> speed sub transmission ( a total of 10 forward gears ), top end around 160+
> for as long as you want to hold it.

160 km/hr, not 160 mph.

> Bloody thing is a nightmare to work on with 16 valves and enough horse
> power to launch out from under a guy if he's not careful....but it sure is
> fun to ride.

I owned a 1981 CB900C. Nothing special in the hp stakes, any modern
600c sportbike has a good 25 hp on it.

Get the grill good and hot while placing meat, vegetables, and
fruit such as pineapples or cherries on the skewers.
Don?t be afraid to use a variety of meats.
Grill to medium rare,
serve with garlic cous-cous and sautéed asparagus.
Coffee and sherbet for desert then walnuts, cheese, and port.
Cigars for the gentlemen (and ladies if they so desire)!



Crock-Pot Crack Baby

When the quivering, hopelessly addicted crack baby succumbs to death,
get him immediately butchered and into the crock-pot, so that any
remaining toxins will not be fatal. But don?t cook it too long,
because like Blowfish, there is a perfect medium between the poisonous
and the stimulating. Though it may not have the same effect on your
guests, a whole chicken cooked in this fashion is also mighty tasty.

1 newborn - cocaine addicted, freshly expired, cleaned and butchered
Carrots
onions
leeks
celery
bell pepper
potatoes
Salt
pepper
garlic, etc
4 cups water

Cut the meat into natural pieces and brown very well in olive oil,
remove, then brown half of the onions, the bell pepper, and celery.
When brown, mix everything into the crock-pot, and in 6 to 8 hours you
have turned a hopeless tragedy into a heartwarming meal!



George?s Bloody Mary

Don?t shy away from this one, it is simply a cocktail variation of
good old Blood Stew. When a pig is killed, its throat is slit and
those present quaff a cup of hot blood to soften the wintry air.
From the dawn of man to this day, humans have always drunk blood!
American deer hunters are a prime example.

1 pint blood
Stolichnaya vodka
ice
tomato juice
lemon
lime
hot sauce
Worcestershire sauce
pickled green bean
celery
green olives
celery salt

Draw a pint of blood from a very young virgin,
female if possible, and chill.
In a tall glass pour 1 or 2 ounces of vodka,
th

Amputee

By all means, substitute lamb or a good beef roast if the haunch
it is in any way diseased. But sometimes surgeons make mistakes,
and if a healthy young limb is at hand, then don?t hesitate to cook
it to perfection!

1 high quality limb, rack, or roast
Potatoes, carrot
Oil
celery
onions
green onions
parsley
garlic
salt, pepper, etc
2 cups beef stock

Marinate meat (optional, not necessary with better cuts).
Season liberally and lace with garlic cloves by making incisions,
and placing whole cloves deep into the meat.
Grease a baking pan, and fill with a thick bed of onions,
celery, green onions, and parsley.
Place roast on top with fat side up.
Place uncovered in 500° oven for 20 minutes, reduce oven to 325°.
Bake till medium rare (150°) and let roast rest.
Pour stock over onions and drippings, carve the meat and
place the slices in the au jus.



Bisque à l?Enfant

Honor the memory of Grandma with this dish by utilizing her good
silver soup tureen and her great grandchildren (crawfish, crab or
lobster will work just as well, however this dish is classically
made with crawfish).

Stuffed infant heads, stuffed crawfish heads, stuffed crab or lobster shells;
make patties if shell or head is not available
(such as with packaged crawfish, crab, or headless baby).
Flour
oil
onions
bell peppers
garlic salt, pepper, etc.
3 cups chicken stock
2 sticks butter
3 tablespoons oil

First stuff the heads, or make the patties (see index)
then fry or bake.
Set aside to drain on paper towels.
Make a roux with butter, oil and flour,
brown vegetables in the roux, then add chicken stock and
allow to simmer for 20 minutes.
Add the patties or stuffed heads, and some loose crawfish,
lobster, long piglet, or w

I'm a cruiser..... the Sporty will take me down the road at 130 km/h without
breaking a sweat but at that speed I miss too much (I live in a small town
in the middle of a big forest).

I ride my scooter more for the sake of riding my scooter.... actually going
somewhere is just a bonus....

The only paraphenalia I possess is a leather ball cap with "Harley Davidson
Motorcycles" on it. Everyone else at work does the OCC/West Coast Choppers
thing.... I'm the only biker in the crowd. I've always been a fan of
vertical twins but last year I finally realized a long time dream and got a
V twin. An all black 100th anniversary model and it didn't cost much more
than some Jap wannabe clone. This was my Xmas present from Mrs. mechanic
last year (though we know who is making the payments).

Bottom line... if I'm riding something I like to ride - I'm happy. Colour me
happy (well, colour me happy when spring gets here).


"Mark Olson" > wrote in message
...
> John Riggs > wrote:
>
>> My present bike is an oddity. It's a Honda CB 900 Custom, air shocks
>> front and rear, dual disk brakes, shaft drive, 5 speed gear box, and a 2
>> speed sub transmission ( a total of 10 forward gears ), top end around
>> 160+
>> for as long as you want to hold it.
>
> 160 km/hr, not 160 mph.
>
>> Bloody thing is a nightmare to work on with 16 valves and enough horse
>> power to launch out from under a guy if he's not careful....but it sure
>> is
>> fun to ride.
>
> I owned a 1981 CB900C. Nothing special in the hp stakes, any modern
> 600c sportbike has a good 25 hp on it.
>

or use high quality beef or pork roasts (it is cheaper and better to
cut up a whole roast than to buy stew meat).

1 stillbirth, de-boned and cubed
¼ cup vegetable oil
2 large onions
bell pepper
celery
garlic
½ cup red wine
3 Irish potatoes
2 large carrots

This is a simple classic stew that makes natural gravy,
thus it does not have to be thickened.
Brown the meat quickly in very hot oil, remove and set aside.
Brown the onions, celery, pepper and garlic.
De-glaze with wine, return meat to the pan and season well.
Stew on low fire adding small amounts of water and
seasoning as necessary.
After at least half an hour, add the carrots and potatoes,
and simmer till root vegetables break with a fork.
Cook a fresh pot of long grained white rice.



Pre-mie Pot Pie

When working with prematurely delivered newborns (or chicken) use sherry;
red wine with beef (buy steak or roast, do not pre-boil).

Pie crust (see index)
Whole fresh pre-mie; eviscerated, head, hands and feet removed
Onions, bell pepper, c

etc.

Marinate the fetuses in the egg-mustard mixture.
Dredge thoroughly in flour.
Fry at 375° until crispy golden brown.
Remove and place on paper towels.



Holiday Youngster

One can easily adapt this recipe to ham, though as presented,
it violates no religious taboos against swine.

1 large toddler or small child, cleaned and de-headed
Kentucky Bourbon Sauce (see index)
1 large can pineapple slices
Whole cloves

Place him (or ham) or her in a large glass baking dish, buttocks up.
Tie with butcher string around and across so that he looks like
he?s crawling.
Glaze, then arrange pineapples and secure with cloves.
Bake uncovered in 350° oven till thermometer reaches 160°.



Cajun Babies

Just like crabs or crawfish, babies are boiled alive!
You don?t need silverware, the hot spicy meat comes off in your hands.

6 live babies
1 lb. smoked sausage
4 lemons
whole garlic
2 lb. new potatoes
4 ears corn
1 box salt
crab boil

Bring 3 gallons of water to a boil.
Add sausage, salt, crab boil, lemons and garlic.
Drop potatoes in, boil for 4 minutes.
Corn is added next, boil an additional 11 minutes.
Put the live babies into the boiling water and cover.
Boil till meat comes off easily with a fork.



Oven-Baked Baby-Back Ribs

Beef ribs or pork ribs can be used in this recipe,
and that is exactly what your dinner guests will assume!
An excellent way to expose the uninitiated to this highly misunderstood
yet succulent source of protein.

2 human baby rib racks
3 cups barbecue sauce or honey glaze (see index)
Salt
black pepper
white pepper
paprika

Remo

sherry, add the reduced broth.
Finally, put in the root vegetables and simmer for 15 minutes.
Allow to cool slightly.
Place the pie pan in 375 degree oven for a few minutes so bottom crust is not soggy,
reduce oven to 325.
Fill the pie with stew, place top crust and with a fork, seal the crusts together
then poke holes in top.
Return to oven and bake for 30 minutes, or until pie crust is golden brown.



Sudden Infant Death Soup

SIDS: delicious in winter, comparable to old fashioned Beef and Vegetable Soup.
Its free, you can sell the crib, baby clothes, toys, stroller... and so easy to
procure if such a lucky find is at hand (just pick him up from the crib and
he?s good to go)!

SIDS victim, cleaned
½ cup cooking oil
Carrots
onions
broccoli
whole cabbage
fresh green beans
potato
turnip
celery
tomato
½ stick butter
1 cup cooked pasta (macaroni, shells, etc.)

Remove as much meat as possible, cube, and brown in hot oil.
Add a little water, season, then add the carcass.
Simmer for half an hour keeping the stock thick.
Remove the carcass and add the vegetables slowly to the stock,
so that it remains boiling the whole time.
Cover the pot and simmer till vegetables are tender
(2 hours approximately).
Continue seasoning to taste.
Before serving, add butter and pasta,
serve piping with hot bread and butter.



Offspring Rolls

Similar to Vietnamese style fried rolls, they have lots of meat
(of course this can consist of chicken, beef, pork, or shrimp).
Who can resist this classic appetizer; or light lunch served with
a fresh