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A New Entry for the Sloth Glossary: The -5 Sloth
A common Sloth this week is the "Colour Mixup Sloth". This Sloth brakes
for green traffic signals, but accelerates for yellow signals and doesn't stop for red signals. Another Sloth is the "Intersection Stopper Sloth". This Sloth was in the left-turn lane and the traffic signal was green. Of course, it was green until the Sloth started braking. The light turned yellow when the Sloth was in the middle of the intersection, and the Sloth slammed on the brakes and stopped, blocking all traffic except the drivers who swerved around it, for a light cycle. Of course, the most infuriating Sloths this week have been the LLBs. I was stuck in a traffic jam so long today that I almost ran out of petrol. Apparently, an LLB that was 5 km ahead of where I got stuck crashed into a truck that it was playing a speed-matching game with, instead of following KRETP. Sloths in the opposing passing lane slowed down to look, which caused additional crashes, and exits were quickly blocked as other Sloths tried to exit and jammed up the secondary roads. What does the left turn signal mean when it's blinking at a vehicle in the passing lane? To me, it means accelerate quickly and move out of the passing lane. I learned this in driving school, but apparently this isn't required in some localities? I was in the right lane doing 110. The truck in front of me was doing 100, and I prepared to pass. I noticed another car coming up fast, so I waited to let him pass me and then moved behind him. There was a slower vehicle in the lane ahead, so the passing driver turned on his left signal. Unfortunately, this LLB obviously didn't attend driving school, because it wouldn't yield. It got a nasty surprise when the blocked driver forced it onto the shoulder, turned on his signal, and returned to the right lane. Keep Right Except To Pass! |
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A New Entry for the Sloth Glossary: The -5 Sloth
On Sun, 02 Apr 2006 09:13:57 +0000, Alexander Rogge
> wrote: >A common Sloth this week is the "Colour Mixup Sloth". This Sloth brakes >for green traffic signals, but accelerates for yellow signals and >doesn't stop for red signals. > >Another Sloth is the "Intersection Stopper Sloth". This Sloth was in >the left-turn lane and the traffic signal was green. Of course, it was >green until the Sloth started braking. The light turned yellow when the >Sloth was in the middle of the intersection, and the Sloth slammed on >the brakes and stopped, blocking all traffic except the drivers who >swerved around it, for a light cycle. I encountered a new sloth this week also. Call it the school-zone-sloth. Now, everyone but LBMHBF is probably wondering how anyone could be a sloth in a school zone. Well, imagine an intersection in a residential neighborhood. Sloth is North bound turning West. School is to the west, one house from the corner. Dozens of rug rats are coming from the school and crossing South bound. Some of them are then crossing East bound. Traffic is heavy, with about 10 cars each backed up going East and West, five going North, and about five going South. I am North bound two vehicles behind sloth. So, you have to wonder what it is that sloth could possibly do in this situation. Well, the crossing guard was switching between the kids wanting to cross to the South, and the kids that had crossed South wanting to now go East. Each time she did this, the cars that were South, East or West bound went through the intersection. I counted a total of thirty cars that went through. Sloth just sat there. Crossing guard waved he through, She just sat there. People were honking. She just sat there. Eventually I pulled a u-turn, went a block South, a block East, a block West, back to the same intersection. Sloth was still sitting there. I then turned North, and went on my way. When I did the u-turn there were about 3-4 cars waiting for her. When I went by after the detour, there were at least 10 cars, and she was still sitting there. People were still honking. Kids were laughing. Hell, even dogs were grinning at her stupidity. ************************* Dave |
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