suzuki samuri vs. crazy ex

I just received my suzuki samuri from the "ex" and drained the oil. May
sound crazy, but I think she put some type of a water based warming sex
lube in the oil and started it up. Any body have any ideas as to what
this could malfunction in my engine and how to fix it. What's crazy is I
even tasted the oil and it got really hot in my mouth and it's really
sweet. I'm in the Florida area and could use a reputible mechanic who can
diagnose and analyse for future court reasons. Any Ideas?