Florida Girls

Florida Girls...

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new
wives duties.
The first man had married a woman from Alabama, and bragged that he had told
his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed
done at their house. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day
he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from Ohio. He bragged that he had given
his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the
cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the
next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes
were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a Florida girl. He boasted that he told her that
her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed,
laundry done and hot meals on the table every night. He said the first day
he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the
third day...most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out
of his left eye. Enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher,
and telephone a landscaper.

--
Wes Pearson
********************************************
* Why Yes! I am a real Helicopter Pilot!!! *
********************************************
KF6QQQ

Great joke. Some how I managed to get my email sent to the newsgroup. Sorry.

WES PEARSON wrote:

> Florida Girls...
>
> Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given
> their new wives duties.
> The first man had married a woman from Alabama, and bragged that he
> had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house
> cleaning that needed done at their house. He said that it took a
> couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the
> dishes were all washed and put away.
>
> The second man had married a woman from Ohio. He bragged that he had
> given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and
> the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any
> results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house
> was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.
>
> The third man had married a Florida girl. He boasted that he told her
> that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn
> mowed, laundry done and hot meals on the table every night. He said
> the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see
> anything, but by the third day...most of the swelling had gone down
> and he could see a little out of his left eye. Enough to fix himself a
> bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and telephone a landscaper.


--
Wes Pearson
********************************************
* Why Yes! I am a real Helicopter Pilot!!! *
********************************************
KF6QQQ

>Great joke. Some how I managed to get my email sent to the newsgroup. Sorry.
>

Neil already delighted me with that one.

Kidd
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A
northern fairytale starts out "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale starts
with "Ya'll ain't gonna believe this ****..."

An Alternative Nursing Home...

I really like this idea.
There will be no nursing home in my future.........
When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship.
The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked
on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and
senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:
1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.
2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the
restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have
breakfast in bed every day of the week).
3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room,
free washers and dryers, and shows every night.
4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth
of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.
7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress
replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.
8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.
9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare. If you fall
and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the
rest of your life.
Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal,
Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go? Princess will
have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.

P.S. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge.

"Kidd Andersson" > wrote in message
...
> >Great joke. Some how I managed to get my email sent to the newsgroup. Sorry.
> >
>
> Neil already delighted me with that one.
>
> Kidd
> What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A
> northern fairytale starts out "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale starts
> with "Ya'll ain't gonna believe this ****..."

Wow, I can hardly wait to get old and feeble now! :-D

On Sat, 16 Oct 2004 13:31:44 GMT, "Karl" > wrote:

>An Alternative Nursing Home...
>
>I really like this idea.
>There will be no nursing home in my future.........
>When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship.
>The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked
> on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and
>senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:
>1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.
> 2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the
>restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have
> breakfast in bed every day of the week).
>3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room,
>free washers and dryers, and shows every night.
>4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
>5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth
>of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
>6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.
>7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress
> replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.
>8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.
>9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare. If you fall
>and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the
>rest of your life.
>Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal,
>Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go? Princess will
>have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.
>
>P.S. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge.
>
>"Kidd Andersson" > wrote in message
...
>> >Great joke. Some how I managed to get my email sent to the newsgroup. Sorry.
>> >
>>
>> Neil already delighted me with that one.
>>
>> Kidd
>> What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A
>> northern fairytale starts out "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale starts
>> with "Ya'll ain't gonna believe this ****..."
>

--

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite,
and furthermore always carry a small snake.
- W.C. Fields

>From: Shaggie

>Wow, I can hardly wait to get old and feeble now! :-D

look on the bright side Shag...you are halfway there...<G>
-------------------
Chris Perdue
"I'm ever so thankful for the Internet; it has allowed me to keep a finger in
the pie and to make some small contribution to those younger who will carry the
air-cooled legend forward"
Jim Mais
Feb. 2004

"Karl" > wrote in message
m...
>
> An Alternative Nursing Home...
>
> I really like this idea.
> There will be no nursing home in my future.........
> When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship.
>
> ................snip
>
>

..............They actually don't like the elderly & infirm. Fixed income
low-spenders who fall and break their hips and then have to be helicoptered
out to a shore facility............not what they really want. If you were
actually at the point in your life where you needed to be in a 'senior
living center', you'd probably need some help boarding at the dock where
they would very politely escort you back on to the dock and refund your
money right there. It happened to one of my aunts.

>.............They actually don't like the elderly & infirm. Fixed income
>low-spenders who fall and break their hips and then have to be helicoptered
>out to a shore facility............not what they really want. If you were
>actually at the point in your life where you needed to be in a 'senior
>living center', you'd probably need some help boarding at the dock where
>they would very politely escort you back on to the dock and refund your
>money right there. It happened to one of my aunts.
>

You're such a buzzkill, Tim.

Kidd
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A
northern fairytale starts out "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale starts
with "Ya'll ain't gonna believe this ****..."

"Kidd Andersson" > wrote in message
...
>
> You're such a buzzkill, Tim.
>
>


..............hee hee

What a great scheme!What's the catch.If word gets out,Princess stock will
skyrocket,shipyards won't be able to build fast enough.It's a pirate's life
for me,argh.
"Karl" > wrote in message
m...
> An Alternative Nursing Home...
>
> I really like this idea.
> There will be no nursing home in my future.........
> When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship.
> The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked
> on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and
> senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:
> 1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.
> 2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the
> restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have
> breakfast in bed every day of the week).
> 3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room,
> free washers and dryers, and shows every night.
> 4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
> 5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5
worth
> of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
> 6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.
> 7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress
> replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your
inconvenience.
> 8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for
them.
> 9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare. If
you fall
> and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for
the
> rest of your life.
> Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama
Canal,
> Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go?
Princess will
> have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call
shore to ship.
>
> P.S. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at
no charge.
>
> "Kidd Andersson" > wrote in message
> ...
> > >Great joke. Some how I managed to get my email sent to the newsgroup.
Sorry.
> > >
> >
> > Neil already delighted me with that one.
> >
> > Kidd
> > What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
fairytale? A
> > northern fairytale starts out "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale
starts
> > with "Ya'll ain't gonna believe this ****..."
>
>