The different types of chain letters......

I HATE CHAIN LETTERS


Hello, my name is Doodles. I am suffering from a very rare and
deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of

being kidnapped and executed by electrocution, and guilt for not
forwarding out 50 billion f'ing chain letters sent to me by people who
actually believe that if you send them on, then that a poor 6 year old
girl living in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to
raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell
her off to the traveling freak show.


Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you
and
everyone you send "his" email to $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh,
looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid
by every Playboy model in the magazine! What a bunch of bull****.


So basically, this message is a big "%^&* YOU" to all the
people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid
chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come
into my
apartment and hurt me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which
was
started by 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims
on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2010, it'll be in the
Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant
stupidity.


@#$%^&* them all!!!


If you're going to forward something, at least send me
something
mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest
friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow
receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times.
I don't !@#$%^&
care.


Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually

contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own
unpopularity.


THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:


Chain Letter Type 1:


(scroll down)














Make a wish!!!















No, really, go on and make one!!!



















Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!! Wish something else!!!


















Not that, you pervert!!



















Is your finger getting tired yet?














STOP!!!!


Wasn't that fun?


Hope you made a great wish


Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of
all, if you don't send this to 7296 people in the next 5 seconds, you
will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile
of manure.

It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones,
THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!!


Here's how it goes:


Send this to 1 person: One person will be ****ed off at you for

sending them a stupid chain letter.


Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be ****ed off at you
for sending them a stupid chain letter.


Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be ****ed off at you
for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your
life.


Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be ****ed off at
you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will firebomb your
house.


Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!


Chain Letter Type 2:


Hello, and thank you for reading this letter.
You see, I have just heard the most horrible thing. There is a
starving little boy in Beceriousudumphuc who has no arms, no legs, no
parents, and no goats.


This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time
you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving
Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Beceriousudumphuc Fund.


Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the
emails sent and this is all a complete load of bull****. So go on,
reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a
reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die
instantly.


Thanks again!!


Chain Letter Type 3


Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897.
This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and
probably not as many sad fools with nothing better to do. So this is
how it works:


Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or
something
horrible will happen to you like:


Bizarre Horror Story #1


Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She
had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a
crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe
in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only
did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!


Bizarre Horror Story #2


Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail
and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his
boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to
hell and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity.


This Could Happen To You Too!!!


Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just
send
this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.


Chain Letter Type 4:


As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every
one of your friends.


FRIENDS


A friend is someone who is always at your side.

A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of ****, and
your breath smells like you've been eating cat food.

A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly as a hat
full of assholes.

A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself.


A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about
your sad, sad life.

A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the
check and leaves and doesn't speak much English...no, sorry that's the
cleaning
lady.


A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants
his
wish of being rich to come true.


Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never have sex ever
again. The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening
to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.



If it's funny, send it on. Don't **** people off by making
them
feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to
a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only savior is the 5 cents per
letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up
like Miranda.
Right?


Now forward this to everyone you know otherwise you'll have to
look at me naked!


Doodles

My buddy Doodles wrote that....
trotzo

Don't know who your buddy Doodles is but I received that same one
several years ago. And it's as good today as it was then.

On 18 Aug 2005 14:47:55 -0700, "trotzo" > wrote:

>My buddy Doodles wrote that....
>trotzo

Spike
1965 Ford Mustang fastback 2+2 A Code 289 C4 Trac-Lok
Vintage Burgundy w/Black Standard Interior; Vintage 40
16" rims w/BF Goodrich Comp T/A gForce Radial
225/50ZR16 KDWS skins; surround sound audio-video.

Gad what fools these morons be....
Children are obscene but should not be heard
Give me a peperoni pizza... or give me a calzone!

Hmmmmmm, I'm gonna hafta call him on that....
Trotzo

"I've been around, I've seen some things.... I've slept in dumpsters
and got high with kings"


Spike wrote:
> Don't know who your buddy Doodles is but I received that same one
> several years ago. And it's as good today as it was then.
>
> On 18 Aug 2005 14:47:55 -0700, "trotzo" > wrote:
>
> >My buddy Doodles wrote that....
> >trotzo
>
> Spike
> 1965 Ford Mustang fastback 2+2 A Code 289 C4 Trac-Lok
> Vintage Burgundy w/Black Standard Interior; Vintage 40
> 16" rims w/BF Goodrich Comp T/A gForce Radial
> 225/50ZR16 KDWS skins; surround sound audio-video.
>
> Gad what fools these morons be....
> Children are obscene but should not be heard
> Give me a peperoni pizza... or give me a calzone!