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OT; Winter is.........



 
 
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  #1  
Old November 13th 04, 05:59 PM
Tim Rogers
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Posts: n/a
Default OT; Winter is.........

..........a good time to post something like this while the wife is outside
shoveling snow:


Subject: Tech Support

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that
the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into
all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications
such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing
3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my
favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but
the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
A Troubled User (KEEP READING)
______________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is
just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM
and is designed by its creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to
delete! You cannot delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is
impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once
installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child
Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the
situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to
alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife
1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook
It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause
the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only
way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional
software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.

WARNING!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short
Skirt 3.3.This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support


Ads
  #2  
Old November 13th 04, 06:25 PM
Speedy Jim
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Default

Tim Rogers wrote:

> .........a good time to post something like this while the wife is outside
> shoveling snow:
>
>
> Subject: Tech Support
>
> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0.


<SNIP>

RFLMAO !!

Speedy Jim
http://www.nls.net/mp/volks/
  #3  
Old November 13th 04, 08:11 PM
Olli Lammi
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Default

Tim Rogers wrote:
> ..........a good time to post something like this while the wife is outside
> shoveling snow:


8< 8< 8< 8<

That's why I run all important services under linux and have the root
user to my self. Erratic, misbehaving or zombie Wife -processes can be
reniced or kill -9'd any time.

---
Olli
  #4  
Old November 13th 04, 08:50 PM
jjs
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Default

"Speedy Jim" > wrote in message
...
> Tim Rogers wrote:
>
>> .........a good time to post something like this while the wife is
>> outside
>> shoveling snow:
>>
>>
>> Subject: Tech Support
>>
>> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0.


Yer the electrics guy, Speedy so you will understand.
I traded in my 40 year-old for two 20's.
Turns out I'm not wired for two-twenty.

Bummer.


  #5  
Old November 13th 04, 11:28 PM
John Willis
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Default

On Sat, 13 Nov 2004 13:50:55 -0600, "jjs" > scribbled this
interesting note:

>"Speedy Jim" > wrote in message
...
>> Tim Rogers wrote:
>>
>>> .........a good time to post something like this while the wife is
>>> outside
>>> shoveling snow:
>>>
>>>
>>> Subject: Tech Support
>>>
>>> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0.

>
>Yer the electrics guy, Speedy so you will understand.
>I traded in my 40 year-old for two 20's.
>Turns out I'm not wired for two-twenty.
>
>Bummer.
>

and one-ten would land you in jail!:~)


--
John Willis
(Remove the Primes before e-mailing me)
  #6  
Old November 14th 04, 06:24 AM
Brenda
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Posts: n/a
Default

"jjs" > wrote in message >...
> "Speedy Jim" > wrote in message
> ...
> > Tim Rogers wrote:
> >
> >> .........a good time to post something like this while the wife is
> >> outside
> >> shoveling snow:
> >>
> >>
> >> Subject: Tech Support
> >>
> >> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0.

>
> Yer the electrics guy, Speedy so you will understand.
> I traded in my 40 year-old for two 20's.
> Turns out I'm not wired for two-twenty.
>
> Bummer.


Now You sound just like the glutton I am. I'm sure u know what a
glutton is. I am for sure one. Anyway, someone that goes to bed with a
platter of chicken, Damn near eats the whole thing, goes to sleep with
a thigh in one hand, a breast in the other , wakes up wanting another
piece.......burp,,love tony
  #7  
Old November 22nd 04, 10:16 PM
TerryB
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Posts: n/a
Default

"Tim Rogers" > wrote in
:

> .........a good time to post something like this while the wife is
> outside shoveling snow:


> Best of luck,
> Tech Support
>
>


PLEASE all who have not upgraded yet, INSTALL a firewall and backup all
your files as Wife 1.0 is a virus that once on your system will take over
all your resources and control your whole system. If you have this install
already you will find the only way to get rid of it is very expensive and
if the virus has spawned child version 1.0 or version 2.0 or greater the
cost is multiplied and will persist until said child programs are outdated
in 18 years. Master program Judge 1.0 will make sure that this virus
exhaust all your funds from now on until the program(s) are outdated.
Leaving you stretched to afford any new programs or toys.

--
Terry B
AKA VDUBBS
Buggin in Bama
http://vdubbs64.tripod.com
 




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