Am I Gay?

I have decided that my next car will be a Miata. They're fast, fun,
good looking. My wife says this means I'm gay. I always thought that
being gay had something to do with having sex with men. Since I don't
do that, I thought I was safe. But now I'm afraid that slipping into
that new seat and taking a firm grip on the knob will somehow deflower
me. I'm so confused. Any advice?

On 2006-04-10, Eugene > wrote:

> I have decided that my next car will be a Miata. They're fast, fun,
> good looking. My wife says this means I'm gay. I always thought that
> being gay had something to do with having sex with men. Since I don't
> do that, I thought I was safe. But now I'm afraid that slipping into
> that new seat and taking a firm grip on the knob will somehow deflower
> me. I'm so confused. Any advice?

Shut up and drive.

--
Grant Edwards grante Yow! Am I elected yet?
at
visi.com

Eugene,
Since you are even asking, I believe that the answer is yes. However, your
remarks about the car that you drive not being related to sexuality is
correct. The only correlation between the choice of cars that men drive and
sex is the inverse relation ship between a mans penis size and the size of
his SUV. Clearly the SUV owners have issues that Miata owners do not share.
There is a similar sexual correlation with what women drive Did you know
that most Corvette owners are women? The body style has natural attraction
that they long for, if you know what I mean. But the real issue with your
and your wife is not about your choice of cars at all. It is that she would
like for you to engage in sexual relations with her more frequent than you
currently do and wishes that you would appreciate her more than you do any
automobile. Demonstrate to her what a man you really are and then she will
not to focus on your choice of car or what she thinks other people might
think of it.
Sigmund

"Eugene" > wrote in message
ups.com...
>I have decided that my next car will be a Miata. They're fast, fun,
> good looking. My wife says this means I'm gay. I always thought that
> being gay had something to do with having sex with men. Since I don't
> do that, I thought I was safe. But now I'm afraid that slipping into
> that new seat and taking a firm grip on the knob will somehow deflower
> me. I'm so confused. Any advice?
>

On 10 Apr 2006 06:49:43 -0700, "Eugene" > wrote:

>I have decided that my next car will be a Miata. They're fast, fun,
>good looking. My wife says this means I'm gay. I always thought that
>being gay had something to do with having sex with men. Since I don't
>do that, I thought I was safe. But now I'm afraid that slipping into
>that new seat and taking a firm grip on the knob will somehow deflower
>me. I'm so confused. Any advice?

Don't grip it -- sit on it. If you enjoy it, you're gay.

Post some pix of your wife, please.

-- Fred

"Eugene" > wrote in
ups.com:

> I have decided that my next car will be a Miata. They're fast,
> fun, good looking. My wife says this means I'm gay. I always
> thought that being gay had something to do with having sex with
> men. Since I don't do that, I thought I was safe. But now I'm
> afraid that slipping into that new seat and taking a firm grip on
> the knob will somehow deflower me. I'm so confused. Any advice?

Hmmmmm..... that only registered a 3.2 on the troll-o-meter.

"Eugene" > wrote in message
ups.com...
>I have decided that my next car will be a Miata. They're fast, fun,
> good looking. My wife says this means I'm gay. I always thought that
> being gay had something to do with having sex with men. Since I don't
> do that, I thought I was safe. But now I'm afraid that slipping into
> that new seat and taking a firm grip on the knob will somehow deflower
> me. I'm so confused. Any advice?
>

You only gay if you hum show tunes.

In article >,
XS11E > wrote:

> Hmmmmm..... that only registered a 3.2 on the troll-o-meter.

Better get it recalibrated. 3.2 looks like this:

[ . . . / . . ]

Mine pegged so hard it bent the needle:

[ . . . . . ) ]

--
Lanny Chambers
'94C, St. Louis
http://www.hummingbirds.net/alignment.html

On 10 Apr 2006 06:49:43 -0700, "Eugene" > wrote:

>I have decided that my next car will be a Miata. They're fast, fun,
>good looking. My wife says this means I'm gay. I always thought that
>being gay had something to do with having sex with men. Since I don't
>do that, I thought I was safe. But now I'm afraid that slipping into
>that new seat and taking a firm grip on the knob will somehow deflower
>me. I'm so confused. Any advice?

If you have sex with other men you are gay, or at least bisexual.

Surprising as it may seem to some, it has nothing to do with what car
you drive.

Lanny Chambers > wrote in news:lanny-
:

> In article >,
> XS11E > wrote:
>
>> Hmmmmm..... that only registered a 3.2 on the troll-o-meter.
>
> Better get it recalibrated. 3.2 looks like this:
>
> [ . . . / . . ]
>
> Mine pegged so hard it bent the needle:
>
> [ . . . . . ) ]

Mine is calibrated to peg only if the troll is a good troll, and, on
mine 3.2 looks like this:

[..\.......]

In other words, it was a for sure a troll but not a very good one.

"Eugene" > wrote in message
ups.com...
>I have decided that my next car will be a Miata. They're fast, fun,
> good looking. My wife says this means I'm gay. I always thought that
> being gay had something to do with having sex with men. Since I don't
> do that, I thought I was safe. But now I'm afraid that slipping into
> that new seat and taking a firm grip on the knob will somehow deflower
> me. I'm so confused. Any advice?


Well, if you had to ask, you probably are.

Patrick