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Old May 26th 05, 08:20 PM
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Default Leaky Push-rod Tubes - NOT

The VW Valdez

Shoddily built 1834, product of a 'premier' engine-builder (according
to the defunct VWT). Dual carbs, shiny aluminum valve covers, -009,
trick muffler, lotsa junk parts that don't fit.

And leaks. Not a little, a lot, as in Exxon Valdez. Park it for a
week and fully HALF its oil ends up on the ground. Where from? Sump
plate, drain-plug, main seal, valve covers, PUSH-ROD TUBES.

Premier Builder sellz the kiddie a Billet sump plate, guaranteed not to
leak. Also sellzem eight spiffy anodized aluminum two-piece, O-ring'ed
push-rod tubes, guaranteed not to leak. As for the other leaks he
tells the kid: "All Volkswagens leak." He's built a zillion of them
and he ought to know, right?

So the kid puts on the sump plate and the spiffy anodized two-piece,
O-ringed push-rod tubes. Still leaks, of course. Mebbe a little more
than before, even. The kid's old man is furious; ****ing money away
yada yada yada...

The owner's a kid; typical Conventional Wisdomite, as reflected by his
engine. But his dad's not. And he's sick & tired of having a tar pool
for a driveway.

Friend of a friend of a friend, buncha phone calls and the next thing
you know the rolling piece of **** ends up behind the shop, driven by
the old man, not the kid, for me to 'take a look at it,' a favor for a
friend.

The thing is lowered, steering geometry totally ****ed up. No lower
tin-ware, no thermostat, no kool-tin. But kewl, right?

End-float at the pulley is about .128" I point out the jack, tell him
to drop the engine.

"Do we really HAVE to?"

"No." Big smile from me, along with: "Good-bye."

So he drops the engine.

Flywheel is torqued to about a zillion ft-pounds of course. Have to
use the jack-trick to pop it loose. I show him the distorted threads.
Main oil seal isn't fully seated. Pry it out. Engine's barely a year
old, already needs new bearings. But I'm not getting paid for any
this. Explain the problem, build him up a stack of shims, clean things
up, install a new seal -- properly seated -- re-install the flywheel,
align the disk, do the pressure plate.

Stock valve covers take care of the leaky aluminum crap. Stock sump
plate -- flat and properly installed -- takes care of the drippy sump.
But the push-rod tubes were interesting.

The problem wasn't the tubes, it was the loose lower studs. Turns out,
the engine was never re-torqued after the break-in period. You could
unscrew some of the nuts with your fingers.

And there was the problem. No sealant was applied to the backs of the
washers.

The outboard end of the lower head-stays terminate INSIDE the engine,
on the floor of the valve gallery. Any time you have a fastener that
terminates INSIDE the engine you must provide an oil seal. With the
lower head-stays, you dob a bit of Permatex into the machined well that
receives the washer. Washer gets washed with MEK, gets a matching dob
of Permatex on its back-side. Torqued to spec, no more leaks.

Valve lash was totally weird, no two the same and none even close to
spec. The adjuster-screws worn out, some smoshed into mushrooms and
already split. I replaced the worst of them but the lock-nuts were
also screwed-up -- rounded off. I didn't want to put any more parts
into it -- odds are, it'll end up in the crusher within a year.
Hair-pins & washers are visibly warn, towers on the right side are
grooved. Lotsa varnish in the valve gallery.

The wear and the varnish tells me the Premier Engine Builder didn't
include any of the reliability enhancements. Probably because they
haven't finished milking this particular cash-cow. I've got a hunch
the next thing they sell the kid will be a kewl pair of after-market
rocker arms.

Put the rockers back together, set the lash, helped him plug it back
in. He'd taken a day off from work to do this; was happy that it only
took about four hours.

While its ass is still up in the air I give him a gallon of mineral
spirits, let him scrub off the bottom of the engine and the heads and
the push-rod tubes, tell him about the cardboard trick (to spot drips).

It's still going to drip. He's got a Melling pump... more junk for the
Kiddie Trade. And the jugs have shuffled quite a bit, running with
loose studs and all. But the gusher is under control. I explain all
this while he's scrubbing.

We drop it off the jack-stands, put things away, fire it up.

Carbs weren't balanced, either for flow or response. Smells like it's
running rich but I don't want to get any more deeply involved than I
have to. Surprisingly, the timing is about right. I Re-set the
timing. He sez it runs better than it did. Wishful thinking. I stand
there and listen to it chug. The thing is a total piece of ****,
obviously imbalanced, over-carbed, improperly assembled and
indifferently maintained.

He asks what he should next.

"Polish it up and sell the sonofabitch. Buy a Toyota."

Five VW's in view as we're standing there, only one of them his. He
thinks I'm kidding and starts telling me how much money he's put into
the thing. Tough darts. It's a piece of junk, unsafe to drive because
of the altered suspension and unreliable because of the crappy engine.
But I don't say that. Instead, I figure out what he owes me. He pays
me for the parts and I wave him on his way, hoping he'll read this and
never come back.

------------------------------------------

Got leaky push-rod tubes?

Maybe you don't; not of the dick-head who built the engine forgot to
put sealant on the washers in the valve gallery. (Another of those
'unimportant' details.)

YOU are you're best mechanic. And if you don't believe me, ask Rocky
:-)

-Bob Hoover

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