Mike Z. Helm wrote:
> On Mon, 06 Dec 2004 15:16:29 -0600, Skeens >
>
> >``She charged them. This was the most deliberate act,'' witness
> >Russell McPhee said. ``After she ran them down, she got out of the
car
> >and lit a cigarette like a movie star.''
>
> LMAO - Well, I guess I should keep smoking since it makes me look
like a
> movie star.
>
> Although maybe I'm not smoking them like a movie star. Can anyone
> advise me how to smoke like a star?
>


That's easy - prior to enjoying a refreshing lungful of your favorite
tobacco product, simply drive up near a line of people waiting to get
in to a trendy night spot. Once you have the crowd lined up in your
rear view mirror, place the vehicle in reverse and roll down your
window.

Leaning out the driver's side window, mutter in a loud voice, "Brake
pedal, brake pedal, all of 'em are so bunched together in this thing,
it's hard to keep from hitting the wrong one."

Then floor it, timing your application of the brakes to be after mowing
down the nearest dozen people, but just before you strike the
club/restaurant/bar's actual building, which would result in the
bouncers stomping you so severely you would be peeing blood for a week.


When finished, step out of the vehicle and survey the carnage. All of
that blood and moaning in pain will certainly remind you of the
long-term effects of smoking, and that alone is stressful enough to
make anyone want to light up.

Also, one of those long cigarette holders helps, especially if you're
trying for that "more prissy than John Waters" look.
HTH,


Bo Raxo