Your front porch collapses and kills more than 2 dogs.

-JCM900

"Jafo" > wrote in message
.. .
> You might be an EXTREME Redneck if:
>
> 1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the table in front of her
> kids.
>
> 2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how
much
> gas is in it.
>
> 3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
>
> 4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different
night.
>
> 5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
>
> 6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, y'all, watch
this."
>
> 7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
>
> 8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
>
> 9. Your junior prom offered day care.
>
> 10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are"Gentlemen,
> start your engines."
>
> 11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its
> wheels.
>
> 12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
>
> 13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
>
> 14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
>
> 15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the
> House of Tattoos.
>
> 16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against
> it.
>
> 17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk
>
> 18. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
>
> 19. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly
swatter.
>
> 20. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
>
> 21. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
>
> 22. You think the "Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
>
> 23. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
>
> 24. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want
> it.
>
> 25. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
>
> 26. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
>
> 27. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
>
> 28. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
>
> 29. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
>
> 30. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
>
> 31. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
>
> 32. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
>
> 33. You have a rag for a gas cap.
>
> 34. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
>
> 35. You wonder how service stations keep their rest rooms so clean.
>
> 36. You can spit without opening your mouth.
>
> 37. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made
> it.
>
> 38. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
>
> 39. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on
> the side.
>
> 40. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.
>
> 41. Your working T.V. sits on top of your non-working T.V.
>
> 42. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
>
> 43. A tornado hits your neighbourhood and does a $100,000 worth of
> improvements.
>
> 44. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
>
> 45. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
>
> 46. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
>
> 47. Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth, so you
take
> them out to see what it is.
>
> --
> Jafo
> '02 GT Black
> Not eggzackly stock.
>
>