Completely O/T
 

You might be an EXTREME Redneck if:

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the table in front of her
kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much
gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, y'all, watch this."

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are"Gentlemen,
start your engines."

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its
wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the
House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against
it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk

18. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

19. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

20. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

21. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

22. You think the "Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

23. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

24. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want
it.

25. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

26. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

27. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

28. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

29. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

30. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

31. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

32. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

33. You have a rag for a gas cap.

34. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

35. You wonder how service stations keep their rest rooms so clean.

36. You can spit without opening your mouth.

37. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made
it.

38. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

39. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on
the side.

40. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.

41. Your working T.V. sits on top of your non-working T.V.

42. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

43. A tornado hits your neighbourhood and does a $100,000 worth of
improvements.

44. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

45. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

46. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

47. Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth, so you take
them out to see what it is.

--
Jafo
'02 GT Black
Not eggzackly stock.

Actually, I have lived around people like that. When you live in rural
South Carolina, some 3rd world countries don't look so bad....
--
www.geocities.com/ralphsnart2004/index.html


"Jafo" > wrote in message
.. .
> You might be an EXTREME Redneck if:
>
> 1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the table in front of her
> kids.
>
> 2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how
> much
> gas is in it.
>
> 3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
>
> 4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different
> night.
>
> 5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
>
> 6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, y'all, watch
> this."
>
> 7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
>
> 8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
>
> 9. Your junior prom offered day care.
>
> 10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are"Gentlemen,
> start your engines."
>
> 11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its
> wheels.
>
> 12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
>
> 13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
>
> 14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
>
> 15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the
> House of Tattoos.
>
> 16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against
> it.
>
> 17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk
>
> 18. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
>
> 19. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly
> swatter.
>
> 20. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
>
> 21. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
>
> 22. You think the "Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
>
> 23. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
>
> 24. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want
> it.
>
> 25. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
>
> 26. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
>
> 27. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
>
> 28. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
>
> 29. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
>
> 30. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
>
> 31. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
>
> 32. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
>
> 33. You have a rag for a gas cap.
>
> 34. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
>
> 35. You wonder how service stations keep their rest rooms so clean.
>
> 36. You can spit without opening your mouth.
>
> 37. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made
> it.
>
> 38. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
>
> 39. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on
> the side.
>
> 40. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.
>
> 41. Your working T.V. sits on top of your non-working T.V.
>
> 42. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
>
> 43. A tornado hits your neighbourhood and does a $100,000 worth of
> improvements.
>
> 44. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
>
> 45. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
>
> 46. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
>
> 47. Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth, so you
> take
> them out to see what it is.
>
> --
> Jafo
> '02 GT Black
> Not eggzackly stock.
>
>

Jafo wrote:
> You might be an EXTREME Redneck if:
>

You've ever slow-danced at a Denny's.

--
Cut "to the chase" for my email address.

If you have your best friends come over to help you change the
tires......on your house.

If you go to family reunions to pick up chicks.

If you've ever cut your grass and found a car.

If your front porch doubles as a urinal.

If your truck has bald mud tires on the back, and bald regular tires on
the front.

Theres more, but I just woke up.
Erik D.
'94 white lightning
'01 white GT

I was thinking of Jeff Foxworthy from Atlanta (I think)

http://www.jefffoxworthy.com/homepage.shtml


--
Richard

'94 GT 'vert
Under Drive Pulleys
Transgo HD2 Reprogramming Kit
High Stall Torque Converter
4:10 Gears
Gripp Sub Frame Connectors (welded)
FRPP Aluminum Drive shaft
FRPP M5400-A Suspension
Laser Red

"The Rebel" > wrote in message
news:wNwvd.653522$mD.298061@attbi_s02...
> Actually, I have lived around people like that. When you live in rural
> South Carolina, some 3rd world countries don't look so bad....
> --
> www.geocities.com/ralphsnart2004/index.html
>
>
> "Jafo" > wrote in message
> .. .
> > You might be an EXTREME Redneck if:
> >
> > 1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the table in front of her
> > kids.
> >
> > 2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how
> > much
> > gas is in it.
> >
> > 3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
> >
> > 4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different
> > night.
> >
> > 5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
> >
> > 6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, y'all, watch
> > this."
> >
> > 7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
> >
> > 8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
> >
> > 9. Your junior prom offered day care.
> >
> > 10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner"
are"Gentlemen,
> > start your engines."
> >
> > 11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off
its
> > wheels.
> >
> > 12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
> >
> > 13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
> >
> > 14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
> >
> > 15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the
> > House of Tattoos.
> >
> > 16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law
against
> > it.
> >
> > 17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk
> >
> > 18. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
> >
> > 19. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly
> > swatter.
> >
> > 20. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
> >
> > 21. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
> >
> > 22. You think the "Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
> >
> > 23. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
> >
> > 24. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't
want
> > it.
> >
> > 25. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
> >
> > 26. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
> >
> > 27. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
> >
> > 28. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
> >
> > 29. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
> >
> > 30. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
> >
> > 31. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
> >
> > 32. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
> >
> > 33. You have a rag for a gas cap.
> >
> > 34. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
> >
> > 35. You wonder how service stations keep their rest rooms so clean.
> >
> > 36. You can spit without opening your mouth.
> >
> > 37. You consider your license plate personalized because your father
made
> > it.
> >
> > 38. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
> >
> > 39. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip"
on
> > the side.
> >
> > 40. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.
> >
> > 41. Your working T.V. sits on top of your non-working T.V.
> >
> > 42. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
> >
> > 43. A tornado hits your neighbourhood and does a $100,000 worth of
> > improvements.
> >
> > 44. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
> >
> > 45. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
> >
> > 46. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
> >
> > 47. Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth, so you
> > take
> > them out to see what it is.
> >
> > --
> > Jafo
> > '02 GT Black
> > Not eggzackly stock.
> >
> >
>
>

Your front porch collapses and kills more than 2 dogs.

-JCM900

"Jafo" > wrote in message
.. .
> You might be an EXTREME Redneck if:
>
> 1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the table in front of her
> kids.
>
> 2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how
much
> gas is in it.
>
> 3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
>
> 4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different
night.
>
> 5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
>
> 6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, y'all, watch
this."
>
> 7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
>
> 8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
>
> 9. Your junior prom offered day care.
>
> 10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are"Gentlemen,
> start your engines."
>
> 11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its
> wheels.
>
> 12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
>
> 13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
>
> 14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
>
> 15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the
> House of Tattoos.
>
> 16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against
> it.
>
> 17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk
>
> 18. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
>
> 19. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly
swatter.
>
> 20. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
>
> 21. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
>
> 22. You think the "Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
>
> 23. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
>
> 24. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want
> it.
>
> 25. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
>
> 26. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
>
> 27. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
>
> 28. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
>
> 29. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
>
> 30. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
>
> 31. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
>
> 32. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
>
> 33. You have a rag for a gas cap.
>
> 34. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
>
> 35. You wonder how service stations keep their rest rooms so clean.
>
> 36. You can spit without opening your mouth.
>
> 37. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made
> it.
>
> 38. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
>
> 39. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on
> the side.
>
> 40. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.
>
> 41. Your working T.V. sits on top of your non-working T.V.
>
> 42. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
>
> 43. A tornado hits your neighbourhood and does a $100,000 worth of
> improvements.
>
> 44. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
>
> 45. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
>
> 46. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
>
> 47. Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth, so you
take
> them out to see what it is.
>
> --
> Jafo
> '02 GT Black
> Not eggzackly stock.
>
>

Funny... ha..ha....ha..

-Mike (from the SOUTH)

--
A happy kid behind the wheel of a 98 Mustang GT
Cold air intake
FRPP 3.73 gears
Steeda Tri-Ax Shifter
Flowmaster 40 Series mufflers (self-installed woohoo)
Hi-speed fan switch
255/60R-15 rear tires
Subframe connectors


"The Rebel" > wrote in message
news:wNwvd.653522$mD.298061@attbi_s02...
> Actually, I have lived around people like that. When you live in rural
> South Carolina, some 3rd world countries don't look so bad....
> --
> www.geocities.com/ralphsnart2004/index.html
>
>
> "Jafo" > wrote in message
> .. .
> > You might be an EXTREME Redneck if:
> >
> > 1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the table in front of her
> > kids.
> >
> > 2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how
> > much
> > gas is in it.
> >
> > 3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
> >
> > 4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different
> > night.
> >
> > 5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
> >
> > 6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, y'all, watch
> > this."
> >
> > 7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
> >
> > 8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
> >
> > 9. Your junior prom offered day care.
> >
> > 10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner"
are"Gentlemen,
> > start your engines."
> >
> > 11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off
its
> > wheels.
> >
> > 12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
> >
> > 13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
> >
> > 14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
> >
> > 15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the
> > House of Tattoos.
> >
> > 16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law
against
> > it.
> >
> > 17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk
> >
> > 18. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
> >
> > 19. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly
> > swatter.
> >
> > 20. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
> >
> > 21. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
> >
> > 22. You think the "Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
> >
> > 23. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
> >
> > 24. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't
want
> > it.
> >
> > 25. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
> >
> > 26. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
> >
> > 27. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
> >
> > 28. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
> >
> > 29. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
> >
> > 30. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
> >
> > 31. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
> >
> > 32. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
> >
> > 33. You have a rag for a gas cap.
> >
> > 34. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
> >
> > 35. You wonder how service stations keep their rest rooms so clean.
> >
> > 36. You can spit without opening your mouth.
> >
> > 37. You consider your license plate personalized because your father
made
> > it.
> >
> > 38. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
> >
> > 39. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip"
on
> > the side.
> >
> > 40. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.
> >
> > 41. Your working T.V. sits on top of your non-working T.V.
> >
> > 42. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
> >
> > 43. A tornado hits your neighbourhood and does a $100,000 worth of
> > improvements.
> >
> > 44. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
> >
> > 45. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
> >
> > 46. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
> >
> > 47. Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth, so you
> > take
> > them out to see what it is.
> >
> > --
> > Jafo
> > '02 GT Black
> > Not eggzackly stock.
> >
> >
>
>

Here are some that aren't completely off topic:

If you measure distance in hours, you might live in Idaho.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you might
live in Idaho.

If you often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again,
you might live in Idaho.

If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard,
without flinching, you might live in Idaho.

If you install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked, you might live in Idaho.

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to
use them, you might live in Idaho.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow, you might live in Idaho.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
construction, you might live in Idaho.

If you go out to a tail gate party every Friday, you might live in Idaho.

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you might live
in Idaho.

--
Cut "to the chase" for my email address.

Reminds me of this:
http://www.mytrailerpark.com/


"Jafo" > wrote in message .. .
> You might be an EXTREME Redneck if:
>

Heres one I saw first hand in south Texas,

- Your satellite dish is mounted on a derelic backhoe in your trailer's
front yard



"JohnV@nn" > wrote in message
m...
> Reminds me of this:
> http://www.mytrailerpark.com/
>
>
> "Jafo" > wrote in message
.. .
> > You might be an EXTREME Redneck if:
> >
>
>